A Small Step

(I know, I've already missed a day writing here.  But just because you have three slices of chocolate cake doesn't mean you just quit dieting all together.)

Today was the first time I have gone to church in quite a few months.  I think the last time I went was in September.  I had wrote about why I haven't gone here. 

I started a new job and work every other weekend.  Since my client lives in the same city where I go to church (about 15 miles away), I figured this was a good reason to go back.  I guess reason is the wrong word.  It gave me a push to go back today.

I felt weird wearing jeans to church since I haven't worn pants to church in about ten years.  Once I arrived at my meetinghouse, I just felt right.  I knew I belonged and I knew what had been missing.  I was nervous about socializing with people but because I was leaving early instead of staying the full three hours, I knew I could handle it.

Even though I usually sit near the front, I sat down in  a back pew because I didn't want to noticeably walk out in the middle of a talk.  It was nice to say hello to people that I truly enjoy seeing and even love.  Admittedly, I was feeling a bit like a cornered animal after ten minutes of hellos and small talk. Social anxiety really sucks.  Even more so because I have no logical reason to fear being around my fellow church members.

I really wish I could describe the sense of peace that overtook me during the first hymn.  Such an amazing feeling!  Then when sacrament was passed, I just felt like burdens were lifted and that I was not going to handle my difficulties alone.  I truly believe that through Christ's Atonement, he not only took on the burden of our sins but also of the hardships that are sent our way.  It was the same feeling when I was little and my parents would kiss my owwies.  It didn't take away the pain but comforted me more than any medicine.

My friend gave a wonderful talk that put tears in my eyes.  Much like learning a new skill, faith and testimony are often gained in increments.  I wish I paraphrase what she said better.  That is what I took away from it.  It definitely left me thinking and was a nice note to end my time at church today. 

Have a great week!